I've been telling myself for weeks that I need to write. I say it to myself almost daily and for some reason I feel like something is holding me back. I've been hit hard by losing some of my work. In my soul, it feels like a blessing because it allows me the opportunity to replace those lost jobs with something better, something more aligned with who I am and what I see myself doing long-term. In the reality sense though, I am spending more money than I'm bringing in and that's not good. I am mentally and physically drained. I am throwing all of my energy into building my career with my extra time, but unfortunately it's a slow and not-so-steady climb to where I want to be. Contract work is stressful. Period. It is so hard to rely on somebody else for your work. Somebody whose job does not change if they bring you in or not, so they have no incentive other than the goodness of their hearts, which if we're being honest isn't enough. I've been ghosted by so many people, too. Like 100% ghosted. They said they loved my program and couldn't wait to start. They agreed upon a price. Then they stop communicating entirely when it's time to actually set a plan in motion. Calls, emails, texts, personal visits. Doesn't matter. These people hide. Like, what am I doing wrong? PLZ HELP. For real though, like actually. I need help. I need to know how to sell myself and my program to organizations. I need to know how to convince them that what I do is worth a dollar amount and not just another hole in my volunteer work punchcard. I spent a lot of money to go to school for this. I spent a lot of time to perfect my artistry. I've spent A HELL OF A LOT OF TIME figuring out how to combine the two together and create a program that is (IMO) a lot better than others that are kind of like mine.
Anyway, this is the best I've come up with for a post. Enjoy this nice recipe I made this week and please don't stop following me yet.
Is this too pitiful? DGAF. Also, I want to note that I almost hashtagged this #itshardbeing27. I'm not even 27 yet. I'm only about a quarter of the way through 26. FUCK.